So This is What Soreness Feels Like

Yesterday for the first time this entire year I exercised. Now that school is out, I couldn't find any more excuses to put it off, and I figured it was time to get some of my money's worth. I asked the husband to watch the kids, and he was more than eager. I know he's been wanting me to start exercising by the little hints he gives (eg. shouldn't you start exercising soon?). He's a great ego booster, the husband.

Ever since he's gotten free health club membership from work, he's been an exercise freak. He goes almost daily! The plus side of this is that he is finer than he's ever been. Who knew when I met him 16 years ago that his scrawny self would become this? Oh yeah, and of course he'll be around longer to drive me to all my geriatric appointments.

The down side is that I am a big lump of fat next to him. We get enough quizzical looks as it is as a couple; I refuse to become that old, fat wife next to the young-looking, hot husband. I would be perfectly happy as the old fat wife next to the old fat husband, but no way will I be the hideous one in our marriage. Let's hear it for vanity and cheapness, otherwise I would be the world's unhealthiest person.

So I went exercising yesterday despite my deep loathing of it. I forced myself to go to some kickboxing class because I have no self-discipline to run on the treadmill or cycle on my own. I would just quit after 10 minutes. Same goes for all the weight machines. I need a class with a teacher who constantly yells at me, super fit people around me who seamlessly follow every move and stare if I stop, and a complicated choreography to keep me focused on the next step instead of how miserable I am.

Just as I predicted, the class completely whipped me, even with all my "water breaks." I have never drunk so much water in my life, and I hate water. I came home completely exhausted, ready to lie down after peeing first. I don't understand how people say exercising gives them energy. Every single time I've exercised (about 10 times total, including PE), my body was rubbery and sluggish for the rest of the day. My energy evaporated along with my sweat, which is not a good thing when you still have the entire day to face with 4 little kids.

Luckily, the hamburger, potato chips, soda, ice cream, and cookies I had afterward infused me with enough energy to go on.