Friday, May 29, 2009

A Little Jealousy is Good, Right?

The semester is officially over, thankfully. It has been a really, really, really tough one. Work took a surprising amount of time outside of class, time that I had to take away from the kids and the house. Even when I wasn't busy doing actual work, I would be thinking in the back of my mind all the things I had to do, and that took up precious remaining brain cells.

The husband needed my help with the kids during those crucial few hours I was gone. He managed to pick them up from their extracurricular activity, cook dinner, bathe them, and get all of them ready for bed almost every night.
Pretty darn good for a guy. Sure they went to bed late and had a lot of fast food, but it's better than what any other guy would have done.

And then there was us. We have never communicated so poorly as we have this semester. We would say a quick hi/bye as he came and I went. When I came home, he would be busy with the kids while I ate dinner and cleaned up. By the time we were all done, he would be passed out on the bed. There were so many little thoughts I wanted to tell him but that got lost with busyness, time, and forgetfulness. Eventually it got to the point where even he, a guy, realized something was missing. Two weeks after my post about our communication issues, he suddenly turned to me and said, "We need to spend more alone time talking." Which just floored me because (1) what the heck did he think I was grousing about all that time, and (2) he specifically mentioned talking instead of sex. So that's how bad it was.

Despite all of these challenges, I'm going back to work in the fall, although with less hours. Sure the money is helpful. And it's good to practice my skills, blah blah blah. But the real reason I'm going back is the husband has a renewed appreciation for me. He...hahaha...thinks certain colleagues and students...haha...have a thing for me...ha! He thought the guy who took me on a tour of the gardens had a thing for me. He thought my student who chatted with me a lot had a thing for me. He thought my student who wanted to go out for lunch on the last day of class had a thing for me.

There is no way that these other guys had any sort of attraction for me. I am almost 40 with 4 kids (think of Kate Gosselin's tummy tuck epidosde), boring clothes, boring hair, no makeup, and oh yeah did I mention the sagging body? Which is why it's so sweet, if not outright hilarious, that the husband thinks other guys would look at me in that way.

Of course, I'm not telling any of this to the husband. What I have lost in looks I have gained in wisdom. Instead I tell him,"Don't worry, no matter how good the other guy looks (not that I ever notice) or how much interest he shows in me, I won't give him a second thought."

Oh yeah, I am so going back to work.


Anonymous said...

I think you guys are ridiculously busy because you have 4 kids! I mean, what did you think was going to happen?!?! But don't worry, you still look hot and he should be jealous! As for the communication issues, I resort to writing notes when Sunshine works grave. It's definitly tough on the relationship.

Anonymous said...

Ewww. who wants to know if your husband wants sex with you.Besides there is not much to communicate to him about anyways. I think you look hot and he should be jealous. He is lucky to have you. I just textmessage my honey when we do not have time to communicate. he is always on his computer or iphone