Actual conversation with a student who is about 5' tall, with blonde hair, a perky nose, cute freckles, and innocent appearance of a 10 year old.
Her: Here's the lab assignment I missed last week. I went to another lab to make it up.
Me: Oh, great. Which lab did you go to?
Her: The one at 7 pm.
Me: On which day?
Me: Hmm...who was the instructor?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Was it a guy, woman, tall, short, what?
Her: I don't know, I didn't see him.
Me: Okay, here's the thing. The Tuesday night lab is for a completely different class. It's a zoology lab.
Her: I came in! I don't know what anyone else did, I just came in and did my own stuff.
Me: And what did you do exactly?
Her: Um, you know, the activity with the worms.
Me: Wow, that would have been amazing since we didn't have any worms last week.
Her: Yes, I did it! The people from the other lab helped me! My lab partners helped me!
Me: Look, I told you earlier in the semester the other time you were caught cheating that copying someone else's work is not allowed. I cannot accept this assignment.
Her: I don't know what you want me to. Sniff sniff. I had to work because I have no money to pay for rent. What else was I supposed to do?
Me: You could have actually gone to one of the other labs. Or better yet, told the truth for once.
Her (thinking): What a freaking witch she is. I hate her.
Me (thinking): What kind of lame-o doesn't even check online to get an actual classtime and instructor name. Forget about biology, this girl just needs some common sense.
Have I mentioned how I'm so looking forward to the end of the semester?