Top 10 things I've learned from the Olympics:
10. Beach volleyball is lame. What kind of game requires you to run around with no shoes and only 2 players per team. The only reason it's hyped is because the players are pretty much naked.
9. Bela Karolyi is still creepy.
8. Despite appearances and best efforts, China is still a sad country.
7. The Spanish basketball team are insensitive dolts.
6. USA rules.
5. The gymnastics judges are blind because they think we are.
4. Asians really do look much younger than their counterparts in age.
3. It is possible to not watch a single event, not even the opening ceremonies, and not keel over in death.
2. Swimming produces the best male physique.
1. Gymnastics produces the best male physique for shorter men.