Sunday, June 8, 2008

Recalibrated

Every week I am amazed at church. I go expecting a pretty good service. After all, that is why we chose to go to this church. But every week, it is beyond good. I sing my guts out (you just can't help it), cry for forgiveness, laugh with the pastor, and listen with rapt attention as another message hits bulls-eye. I come out humbled, forgiven, awed with God, aware like I just woke up from a coma, determined to do better, peaceful, and so very rejuvenated.

I try to hold onto these feelings, thoughts, and goals but life inevitably gets in the way. On Monday stress starts to press in (on my eardrums that is, from the kids screaming and crying). On Tuesday, I'm thinking of God less. By Wednesday I've already let myself and Him down many times. By Friday this crazy world has once again sucked me in. By the end of the week, I'm so far off my set path (and yet only vaguely conscious of it), that I need something, Someone huge to recenter me. I'm like the scale you have to zero every so often, otherwise my numbers start to be be skewed. Sometimes my numbers are just a little off, sometimes off the scale. I'm thankful that God finds this worn-out machine worthy of being recalibrated.

That's why I look forward to church. Don't ask me to skip church because I can't. I need to go, for myself and for the sake of everyone around me. There have been times when Kevin and I were mad at each other going into church. Then we listened to songs, prayers, and lessons about love and redemption, God and forgiveness. Before the service ended, we embraced and made up without saying a word. God is powerful, loving, merciful, trustworthy, wise, and strong. His Church reminds me of that every week.

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