What a journey blogging has been. I started off with a simple desire to keep in touch with my fellow isolated friends, moms who had chosen to stay at home with their kids and whom I had not seen or talked to in...a long time. I don't know about them, but I would periodically wonder what they were up to. Just in case they wondered the same about me, I thought I would feed a few tidbits on the blog. But just the best tidbits.

I displayed cute pictures of my kids, related cute antics, wrote brilliantly philosophical yet humorous pieces, and waited for the responses to come pouring in. Instead I got crazy comments from one sister and "don't you have anything better to do" kind of comments from my other sister.

My husband encouraged me to market my blog. Either he really liked what I had to say, or he really liked the idea of me earning money. I prefer to think the former. So I got busy marketing my blog. He turned my stat counter on. I perused countless blogs each day and left little snippets on their comment section, so that they would do likewise on mine. The husband signed me up for Facebook and set it so that every post would show up on my page. I actually objected to having a FB account! Today, in my thoroughly FB-obsessed state, I find that hard to imagine.

A funny thing happened once I had friends on FB. I started to censor what I wrote on my blog. If I wanted to comment on Prop 8, for example, I was afraid my gay or straight friends on FB would be insulted. I cared for these people, I didn't want them to be offended in such an impersonal manner as on a blog. Screw the strangers, but my FB friends were relatives, friends from college, neighbors who hadn't yet seen my bad side.

And so my well dried up. In my effort to please everyone, I ran out of things to say. Fortuitously, I also ran out of time to blog. Homeschooling had turned into a race for time each day. Even after my challenging son went back to school, I needed the extra time to play, read, and bond with the other kids, instead of just, say, telling them to shush and go away so that Mommy can complete a crucial but fleeting thought. Ironically, I just told my kids this during this paragraph.

My blog posts became more and more infrequent.Worse, they were lackluster. Eventually, I took my blog link off FB and resigned to return when the kids were older (like college-aged). 

Much to my surprise, I missed blogging. All these years, I thought writing was a chore, an essay analysis to be done for a Nathaniel Hawthorne novel. What I discovered through blogging is that I know more vocabulary words than I ever thought, I'm a better photographer than I thought, and I have more brain cells than I thought. Blogging trained me to look for highlights in my day to share. I was ready at all times with my camera to snap anything remotely interesting and even those things that were not. Each day, I actively searched for things to document. I was more present in my day. I miss that.

So I'm back. This time, I'm not going to market my blog. I will tell my sisters, of course, because what would I ever do without their crazy comments. But I'm not going to link my blog to facebook, and I'm not going to read other people's blog just so they'll read mine. Even if no one except for my sisters and hubby ever know I'm blogging again, I'll be happy knowing that my words are here on the internet, which as everyone knows, means it'll be here forever. This time, I'm doing it for the right reason.

Post VBS Bliss

Last year I was a big baby and blogged about the hellishness of having vacation bible school and swim practice on the same days. This year I grew up a little, which is good considering I turned 40 last month (more on that later). I enjoyed both VBS and swim practice tremendously and wouldn't have given up either one for more sleep, and that is saying a lot.

We're talking over 2000 kids!

Originally I had hoped to sit out this VBS and kick back. But my oldest begged me to be her leader. I told her, please I need a break, but like always she ignored me. She gave me the old unfairness line, that it was so unfair that I was her sister's leader last year and not anyone else's. By the way, that ploy doesn't work on me; if it's one thing I've learned from having 4 kids who are complete opposites, it's that every kid needs something different.

I finally gave in, not because of her fairness logic but because I was surprised that she really wanted me as her leader. This was after an entire year of being taught by moi, an entire year of me ordering her around during school and after hours. If she still wants me after all that, who am I to deny her? This is also just a few years before she she hits adolescence, before she starts to draw away from me and starts denying me publicly. I may forget my children's names from time to time, but I still recognize a good opportunity when I come across it!

It is amazing how many good outcomes have arisen because I've been forced to do something for the kids.

I loved being a group leader for 4th grade. The kids were smart, sweet, and fun. I didn't have to drag anyone to the restroom and tell them to just try, like I had to last year, and I didn't worry if occasionally one kid wandered off on his own. The kids were old enough to understand the real gist of the gospel message, instead of just being stuck on Jesus as a mere friend. And I got to sing and dance along with Jana Alayra, instead of being a bystander who is too mature to do silly dance moves. (Jana is to Christian children's music like Gaga is to mediocre synthesizer music with stupid outfits).

What I loved most was getting to know the kids. While we stood around and waited for our activity rotations, the kids often opened up about their families and lives. One kid gave me his entire itinerary for his upcoming trip, another blabbed on about her parents and siblings, spilling secrets her parents would have been horrified about.

During one conversation with a set of fraternal twins, the larger twin remarked that he actually ate much less than his smaller twin. They told me that the smaller twin eats almost double the food as the larger twin. I said something innocuous to the smaller twin, like "Where does it all go?" He then proceeded to go into detail about his bowel movements, telling me how often he goes and how big they are. I am not kidding.

Apparently, the male obsession with BM's begin early.

Now that I've been the leader for two of my kids, I'm pretty much committed to doing this for the other two. After that, the first two want another turn. Translation: I'll be volunteering at VBS until I die. Or at least until I'm too old to dance to praise songs. At which point you can consider me as good as dead.

VBS rocks! And I'm not just saying that because it's over.

All About the Husband

...from the kids' perspectives.

1. My dad's job is...to work with computers, paint walls, and cook dinner.

2. He enjoys...going out with us, taking me out to Toys 'R Us, and talking to Mommy.

3. Dad looks handsome when...all the time, he is at a meeting, and he is nice.

4. His favorite dinner is...Mediterranean food, McDonald's, and chicken.

5. The thing he likes best about me is...that I'm sweet, that I'm his son, and that I love him.

6. My favorite thing about him is...he is strong, he lets me play on the computer, and he is nice to me.

7. My favorite thing to do with my Dad is...going out with him, playing at the park with him, and playing with him.

Happy Belated Father's Day!

The Last 3 Months

There have been half a dozen times in the last couple of months that I started a post and then ran out of time to finish it. Or maybe that's just how my brain works now, a fleeting thought and then that's it.

I could go on and on about what my life has been like these few months, but I think pictures would convey it best.

Activity 1 - Baseball
Little boys dressed up to watch grass grow on the field. Except for the pitcher who is usually the coach's son.
A whole 5 minutes of batting time in a 1.5 hour game
Thank goodness it's over.

Activity 2 - Softball
Ditto what I said about baseball except substitute "girls" for "boys."
Activity 3 - Dance
Times two

Not pictured: soccer for younger daughter, piano, violin, art, girl scouts, boy scouts, and swimming.

Now that we're all caught up, I promise I'll do a real post soon.

Barfy Birthday

I'd like to take this opportunity to tell my sisters how lucky I am to have my hubby. He's tall, dark, and handsome. Plus he's got genes for good teeth to pass on to my kids and evenly divided X and Y sperm. How lucky could a girl get?

Oh, but there's more. Because this past weekend, he spent a good chunk of his birthday scrubbing out vomit bedding and clothing voluntarily (I didn't even have to ask him). This was not just any old birthday, either, but the big important one that I was supposed to plan some sort of elaborate surprise party for, decorated with OVER THE HILL signs everywhere. That's right, the husband turned 40 this weekend.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, the whole family came down with the stomach flu. Hence the vomit bedding and clothing. My kids now carry around little buckets around with them as an accessory, because you just never know.

I was also out of commission, suffering from a fever that originated from my gum surgery, although the dentist is convinced it was from just a normal cold. Never mind the fact that the fever started the same day following my dental procedure. And that my ear on the same side he worked on had shooting pains. And that only one side of my throat hurt.

The important thing is that I did not have to plan the big OVER THE HILL party, although this reprieve came at a very great cost. Physical pain v. party planning. Wow, tough choice, good thing it was not left up to me.

By the way, for those of you who want to know what it feels like to turn 40, the husband replies,"The same, except with more vomit."

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This should probably be a separate entry for later but by the time next month rolls around I will have forgotten.

Our baby boy was lying in bed with us last night, just like he does every night. He was rolling around, hiding under the blankets, sticking his feet in my face and announcing, "Here are your cupcakes!" (See a previous post about the cupcake reference. I do not know which post that was, maybe from 2008.)

After I rubbed his belly he said, "Mommy, your hands are cold!"

I replied, "Yes, they are always cold at night."

He immediately turned, put his hands together, closed his eyes, and prayed,"Dear Jesus, please help Mommy's hands not to be cold all the time. Amen."

It is no wonder, perfectly logical and reasonable that I spoil that little guy the way I do.

Gratuitous Kid Picture

Not just because I have nothing to say but because I love looking at my kids and assume the whole entire world feels the same.

Why is the sky blue?

Everyday I walk four times to our neighborhood school: early in the morning to drop off my son, later in the morning to drop off my kindergartener, early in the afternoon to pick up the kindergartener, and later in the afternoon to pick up my son. Lucky for me we live in Southern California.

I don't mind the frequent treks. The walks are a nice break in my otherwise agoraphobic existence. Nothing wakes up the body and mind like the chilly morning air and a quick chat with beloved neighbors. And nothing warms my kids and me up like a walk in the afternoon sun, a game of tag with friends, and a good-bye until tomorrow chat with beloved neighbors.

What I love most about our little walks is the view.
(This is not our house, but I wish it was. Ours is much smaller and has a lot more weeds & toys in the yard as well as an abandoned car in the driveway.)

The blue is not just in front of me, it's all around me. It's impossible to miss. And be awed.

I can't help but think about how the longer wavelengths of color like red are absorbed by air particles, leaving only the shorter wavelengths to be scattered and reflected. Hence, blue sky.

I'm grateful these days for any coherent thought, nerdy and out of touch though it may be.

Then, because I have nothing else to do except sit around and ruminate, I wonder: Why are the long wavelengths absorbed, leaving only the shorter ones? Why is blue a shorter wavelength and red a longer one? Why is the sky not red or some other color?

God made it so, and not just randomly. Every bullfighter and decorator knows that color affects mood. Red, for example is associated with power, anger, desire, violence, and can actually raise blood pressure. I'd hate to be surrounded every day by red.

Blue represents peace, tranquility, stability, harmony, unity, trust, and truth. Blue can slow the pulse rate and lower body temperature. Out of all the other positive moods evoked by other colors, God chose peace and harmony to envelope us with. Not only in sky but in water as well. That's a big chunk of the world!

God knows us so well. He knows we're ornery people who fight about the dumbest things, from whether a car cut us off to who gets the biggest dessert portion. He knows we need a reminder, wherever we are in the world we are, from sun up to sun down, to live in peace with each other.

Plus, blue just goes so well with the rest of the earth: white clouds, green trees, brown earth, and bright flowers. I have personally conducted some research attesting to how blue jeans go with everything.

This concludes our science lesson. Next time, I will address the age old question of is Pluto a planet? Oh, let's get real. I'm not going to have anytime soon to blog again. So...

Pluto is a dwarf planet which is not a planet at all. Certain astronomers were unwilling to let go of Pluto as a planet and so stuck the term planet in the new category, thereby proving to everyone that scientists enjoy confusing people with nomenclature. The real answer is, of course, who the heck can tell from 5 billion kilometers away?